It has been 15 years......
I remember when I first heard the news. I was watching MTV after a boring day at school. Unplugged was on....it was Nirvana. I had an idea.... with my newest disposable camera I was going to practice taking pictures of the t.v. I didn't know why I felt compelled to do it. Then, after the episode MTV News Breaking News.... Kurt Loder delivers the news.... my heart sank.
I developed the film. I got two decent pictures. There is something haunting in one of them. It was one of those moments where Cobain looks up at the camera and almost looks completely at peace. I still have that picture. Because of the t.v. lighting and the lighting from the stage.... there's this blueish haze around Kurt. It's ghostly in my opinion.....and sad.
I wasn't just some crazed fan of Nirvana. I felt a lot in the lyrics, the music, the truth that was in Kurt's eyes. It's a shame what fame can do to you.
I wanted to post a video... one that still after all this time affects me a little. I find it as haunting as the picture I took. Unfortunately Universal Music Group won't let me embed it from YouTube. That and well....there's Courtney...(if you know what I mean). Tonight I am listening to as much Nirvana as I can cram in....a reminder that I am older now than Kurt was when he died. Reminding myself to live my life. Taking in the lesson.
Here's the link: You Know You're Right
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